travel

A stranger at home for the holidays

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IF YOU READ last week’s post, you’ll know that we went to New York and back for the holidays. What I mostly left out is what we did there. Why? I’m still processing a couple of things, as they say. And in the past week or so at home here in Italy, we’ve been busy restarting our lives here, shopping for food, buying a huge pile of wood for the fireplace, getting medicine refills, etc.

I’m still finding it a little astonishing that I took my first vacation in my native New York. We’ve been buying round trip flights from here for awhile, ever since the airline Alitalia folded its wings. But then we stayed back in NY for a few months. This time it was for a scant few weeks and we definitely were visitors this time, staying at a relative’s home and borrowing a car we’d given up. 

One of the things that happens during the holiday season (and pre-trip) is that you have to eliminate items from your to-do list. We started out with an ambitious to-do-before departure list and had to cull as we went along. I’ll get into that later, but the process led to our spending more time getting stuff done in New York. Unpleasant but necessary tasks, that is. 

With all that in mind, I’ve been trying to figure out how to organize this so it’s not just a rant about reverse cultural shock. There’s too much of that floating around online. (Hey, I’ve had feet planted in two places for so long I’m immune.) The Spartan Woman suggested the following approach:

THE GOOD

REMEMBER WHEN PASSPORT agents were surly and acted as though you were a criminal for daring to leave the country? That’s changed, at least in our experience. Maybe it’s down to our being old? I don’t know, but suddenly ICE is hiring friendly people. Or, just maybe, we’re of a certain age now and don’t look like the kind of people US immigration wants to keep out.

In any event, it was a good way to ease into the U.S. Better still was seeing our grownup kids again. Daughter no. 1 gave us a new addition to the family, a bouncing (literally) baby boy. No pictures, sorry. We’re keeping the child out of social media, at least for now. I may be a proud nonno (grandpa), but The Boy is objectively really good looking, and appears to have inherited some of his mom’s impishness. You’ll have to take my biased word for it. And though we moved, it was good to see some neighbors, and comical to see others, like the wild turkeys that have taken over the island.

One thing we miss when we’re in our Umbrian mountain retreat is multiethnic food delivery. Even on Staten Island, which is often depicted as a bigoted white people hellscape. The truth is more subtle than that, and the island’s North Shore is a paradise of ethnic restaurants. In our short time there, we ordered from Chinese, Vietnamese, Turkish, Thai, and Mexican places. We didn’t have time to have the Sri Lankan food we love.

While we’re on the subject of crazy choice, Costco? I know, I know, where have I been? I finally was initiated into the cult by Daughter No. 1, just for one visit. I was overwhelmed. Not that we bought that much—we had specific goals. It wasn’t so much the crazy amount of merch for sale, even though I saw everything from espresso machines to solar panels to yoga pants to flats of every household item imaginable. But wow, in the space of less than hour I heard at least half a dozen non-English languages. That the company is fairly humane in its personnel practices compared to other giants of commerce added to my not hating it. Buon lavoro, Costco. 

I did notice one other thing immediately. As soon as we cleared customs and were in a taxi headed to our kid’s home, I pulled out my phone and wow, this 5G thing. I’d forgotten how fast it is, at least the T-Mobile version of it, and later tested it to be, in some places, a 600 mb/s download. That’s fast. And our kid has, like we did, 1 gigabyte/second fiber. Fast fiber internet has made it to Italy in general, and our town of Valfabbrica specifically. But not in the rural areas. We use a local provider here, which gives us download speeds of around 30 mb/s, which isn’t bad considering it’s wireless. But a guy can get spoiled. Still, I wouldn’t trade my life for fast downloads. Yet.

THE BAD

OH BOY, THIS. Before we left for New York, we’d wanted to get a Covid booster shot, since the latest one covers the latest known variants. Here in Umbria, you go onto the public health website and look for a location and convenient time and hit the send button and show up for the shot. But we ran out of time and figured we’d get the shot at our former local pharmacy in New York.Unfortunately, Nick up the street wasn’t handling the vaccine. So we had to look at the local megaeverythingwithpharmacy places like CVS and Walgreen.

The closest CVS told us they were out of the stuff and maybe were getting some in the future. But Walgreen’s website said make that appointment. I went through the online scheduler and completed the online medical history/consent forms for the two of us.

The day arrives, we drive a couple of miles. There’s a woman ahead of us in the vaccine line. She’s filling out the history form. “We did ours online,” I said. “I did too but they want me to fill it out here again.” The staff behind the counter is obviously overwhelmed, answering phone calls, taking in prescriptions and giving out meds to other customers. We wait and wait and wait. The nice woman in front of us was finally frustrated and disappears. They call her name, finally, to get her shot, and no one answers.

Finally, the harried clerk asks us to fill out the damn history/consent form. “I did it online,” I respond. “We’re asking people to do it here,” she says without giving me a reason. I refuse. “Sorry, I did it online and I’m not going to fill it out again. Look in your system.” There’s a standoff. Finally the overworked pharmacist tells her to dig it out of the computer. More waiting–at this point we’d been there an hour past our appointment time. We weren’t giving up. At last, the pharmacist come out and administers the shot: 75 minutes after our appointment time. We note that they have lots of people restocking the shelves with stuff like Doritos and deodorant, while the pharmacy workers look like hunted animals. American free enterprise at work.

As for this little pharmacy item (left), really?

 Finally we drive back. The main drag through that part of the island is a two lane road that was built in the 1920s and ’30s, with small shops and converted houses hosting insurance agencies and the like lining the street. But something’s out of whack. Big hulking SUVs and pickup trucks like Ford F150s dominate. It’s like the hippo dance in the Disney movie Fantasia. If the giants aren’t being driven like drunken Romans are behind the wheel, they’re creeping along because I’m sure their drivers can’t see out of them. Why do Americans need a tank to go to the drug store?

Another time I stop at a traffic light to make a left turn. One of the misplace macho drivers doesn’t think I’m moving fast enough (I am not a slow driver) and charges over on the right and without caring makes the left, causing oncoming drivers to hit their brakes. This happens over and over. All of a sudden driving in Italy seems sane.

THE MEH

LET’S TALK ABOUT prices, okay people? The U.S., once you’re been away, just seems like a giant machine designed to drain its people of their money. For instance, we buy Royal Canin dog food for our little prince Niko. It’s produced in plants around the world, but it’s a French subsidiary of the giant Mars Inc. In the U.S., a little over one kilo costs $21. The same food, but almost double the quantity, costs €21 in Italy, or about $23. The common excuse, er, rationalization is that wages are higher in the U.S. and so are fixed costs. But double? If you know, tell me why.

Gratuitous puppy picture: It costs twice as much to keep Lola from the U.S. (left) in Royal Canin than it does our little Niko from the suburbs of Rome.

While I’m on the subject of allocating funds….I get it. New York is constantly being rebuilt. But sorry, what’s there can be so crappy. I traipsed about the Financial District for the best part of a day to take care of a bureaucratic matter. An Italian matter. (Don’t ask.) I used to work in the neighborhood and didn’t really notice before, but the streets are in crappy condition. Sidewalks are broken up, there are shoddy barricades everywhere and in general the place doesn’t look like one of the financial and media capitals of the world. I guess I’d taken the crappiness for granted before.

/rantover. Back to Italy after this.

$18 for a martini served in a plastic cup?

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I’M LUCKY. I’VE HAD RELATIVELY FEW bad airline experiences. I’ve only experienced a couple of delays that stretched into days, and airlines lost my luggage only once—and that time my stuff eventually found its way to me. An Air France strike once sent me home via KLM and Amsterdam overnight. But like millions of other travelers, we more often suffered the indignities of the mundane, meh, experience

Which brings me to the $18 plastic cup martini. We were heading back to Italy after three weeks over the holidays visiting family, getting reacquainted with the beautiful angel of a grandson, and hosting a Christmas Day bash of 20+ family and friends. With e-tickets for a business class flight on our phones, we went to Newark Liberty International Airport for a direct flight to Milan.

We flew La Compagnie, a French-based boutique airline that sells business-class only flights on narrow body A320Neo jets. Check-in at Newark was quick and easy, just as it was in Milan a few weeks prior. They even let me carry my trusty old Gretsch electric guitar on board. Our privileged status (hey, I rarely did this so I’m gonna milk it for all it’s worth) meant we didn’t have to wait in the security lines with the hoi polloi. But the Port Authority, which runs New York’s airports, had closed the lounge La Compagnie uses, so we got a $60 voucher for food and drink in the rather grotty Terminal B.

Plastic, paid with plastic

Ok, the martini. I had started drinking them before boarding long-haul flights a long time ago. There’s nothing like a little almost-pure alcohol to ease the anxiety of waiting to board a flight, not to mention softening the reality of some of those flights. So I went up to a bar and ordered my drink. The bartender did his thing and then…and then…poured it into a plastic cup. Really. Beer drinkers got glasses. Wine drinkers got glasses. Why the plastic? “We started doing this with Covid.” Are martini drinkers more prone to viral infections? Oh, and it cost $18 plus tax and tip.

C’mon now, Newark Airport. I’ve had €4 Aperol spritzes served in nice glassware in our little village, with a side of fried sage leaves, or peanuts and chips. And for $18 in one of the world’s capitals I got plastic and a charge slip asking for a tip. I didn’t use the voucher because I thought we might get a snack, since our flight was at 22:00—10 p.m. in the U.S. That Covid excuse doesn’t work. I’m told that dishwashers use very hot water and a hot drying cycle that gets rid of nasty bugs.

I’m happy to report that the $18 plastic martini was the only rough spot in a stress-free Atlantic crossing. If you’re going where La Compagnie goes (Paris, Milan, and Nice in the summer) and can afford it, go for it. (We got a promo fare, which was less than premium economy on other airlines.) The experience is nicely cosseting. Its biz class might be slightly less lavish when it comes to meals and general cushiness than on, say, Emirates. But because there are only 76 seats, you avoid a lot of the admittedly First World pain of air travel. No long lines at the gate. No yelling at passengers who dare to try to board outside of their class. The plane loads in about five minutes; deplaning is just as quick.

It’s good for dog and cat lovers, too. La Compagnie’s weight limit for having a pet in the cabin is 15 kg, or 33 pounds. Our pup Niko is only about 7 kilos, maybe edging 8 with his carrying case. It meant that airline’s staff didn’t bat an eye when we showed up at the check-in counter with him. They did check his paperwork; as a dog citizen of the European Union, Niko’s got a pet passport detailing his vaccinations, plus we had veterinarian letters certifying to his good health. But getting him checked in was a smooth deal, too.

Aboard the Airbus you get the flat seat and the Champagne welcome that you’d expect of business class. We took off at around 10 pm, so the first meal was pretty light as far as biz class meals go. What’s weird in this era of micro-focused rewards and class distinctions is the equality of it all: We were all privileged, instead of being treated like crap. It made for a very low-key relaxing flight and reminded me of those videos of the so-called glory days of flying, when chefs rolled a cart laden with prime rib up the aisle and carved each piece individually (video below; photos are of our light dinner aboard La Compagnie).

The rest of the trip home was long and uneventful. We decided that landing and then driving five hours to get home wouldn’t be wise, so we found our car in Malpensa Airport’s long-term parking lot and drove about five minutes to a nearby hotel. Our intuition was correct: The Spartan Woman, the pup, and I fell asleep for an afternoon long nap after checking in. We woke up in time to find a place for dinner. And the next day we braved the straight line Milan-Bologna truck filled autostrada to get home.

I woke up this morning to dramatic clouds, a lot of sun and our view of the nearby mountains, hamlets, and castles. It’s not perfect; I’m going to miss our little nipotino (grandson) and the rest of our crew. But after getting reacquainted with the U.S., I’ll take this quiet country life. I’ll write more in the next post about how weird it is to go back on vacation to where we lived for decades.

But for now, I have to stack some wood.

Liv breezed in for a bit, and everything moved faster

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We’re almost up to where we left off. In our daily life, that is. Hurricane Olivia was our terrific excuse. We may have abandoned (mostly) our birth country for now, but certain things, like checking accounts, language between us at home, and, oh, our adult kids and a grandkid keep us tethered. Naturally, we’d prefer that our favorite humans somehow are able to make the same leap. But stuff like regular employment and deep friendships get in the way. I wasn’t ready to turn my life upside down when I was 30, either.

So it’s great when a kid or two comes by for a visit. This time it was Liv a/k/a Olivia, our younger daughter, and her partner Al. We got their room ready and stocked some of the foods we knew they’d like or need. So, big bunch of small hot peppers? Check. Oat milk, ditto. Restock coffee supply? Done. We took mercy on them and picked them up at Rome’s Fiumicino Airport instead of making them take the train. It’s a haul from “Alta Umbria,” but for a Monday morning just after rush hour, we just breezed in.

A lot of any visitor’s stay naturally involves food. I don’t really have to say it, but it’s pretty incredible ’round these parts. A visit to a regular supermarket is like going to an Eataly in the U.S., except that everything is half price, if that much. Back in ‘Merica, our offspring have developed some food intollerances, or so they thought. In Liv’s case, U.S. market pasta and wheat products give her a stomach ache, so she thought she’s got that fashionable gluten problem. But no. She can eat pasta and bread and pizza here, no problem. And she’s not alone—an anecdotal survey of people who live here but go to the U.S. regularly brought out a lot of the same reactions. Anyone have an idea why?

Liv and Al took two weeks of their valuable time off, so instead of sitting at home admiring the view we had to put on our tour guide hats and see stuff around this splendid little region. Not that it’s their first time around this block. Al said to me “Being here is, like, what I do now. It’s my alternate reality life.” First they had to return to Perugia, Liv’s first love and where Al has developed certain rituals. I dropped them off so they could wander around without us old people slowing them down. Despite the nasty weather, they dropped into their favorite places, Al at the porchetta stand on Piazza Matteotti, and the two of them for artisanal gelato (with flavors like gorgonzola and honey) at Lick (closed for vacation until 7 December).

ONCE THEY GOT PERUGIA OUT OF THEIR SYSTEMS, we tried to get away from the too familiar. Last year we spent a rain-drenched day in Foligno. Until then that small city was just a railroad station where we had to change for the Perugia branch line. But we discovered it’s a lively place and unlike most towns in Umbria, flat and really walkable. The window shopping is terrific, and there are tons of cafés and restaurants, many of the latter looking as though they dropped in from Williamsburg.

Knowing that we were going to be in Foligno long enough to have lunch, I started to surf the Web for suggestions, and ran into the service The Fork. It’s like Open Table and Resy in the U.S., but it points to places off the main tourist squares and, if you reserve a table through the site, you often get a discount. I looked through the service and got us a table at Fish Easy (that’s really its name). You can leave a note for the restaurant when you reserve, and I asked if it was okay to bring our dog. Most restaurants here are dog-friendly, but it never hurts to ask. I got a quick reply—sure, we’ll be happy to have him around. (Below, lunch at Fish Easy, with Niko hoping something falls off the table.)

The proprietor made good on his promise. Niko was our calling card, and as soon as he saw Niko leading the way, he knew it was our party of four. The place, like a lot of Foligno eateries, didn’t trade on the Olde Worlde thing, the decor and the menu was sleek and up to date.

Another day, we took advantage of the fine weather and drove across the region to the city of Orvieto, famed for its delicious white wine and its incredible Italian Gothic cathedral. I used The Fork again to find a place to eat, and it led us to Caffè Ristorante Capitano del Popolo, on, logically enough, the piazza of that name. After a funicular ride up from the train station (with plenty of free parking), we admired the Duomo, including the stunning frescoes by Luca Signorelli, before walking a few minutes away from the tourist crowds to the piazza. The market there was shutting down as we walked between stalls to the restaurant. I’d warned them, too, that we had a dog and they not only let Niko in, but gave him a plush chair, pillow, and water bowl. (Below, the Signorelli panels and a modern capolavoro.)

Like more and more restaurants here, the menu was creative but rooted in Umbrian tradition. So some familiar dishes has interesting twists, like the addition of ginger. I usually don’t eat meat, but I was pasta-ed out and went with a vegetable-forward version of chicken alla cacciatore, while my stronger-willed wife and kid had trucioli (a short pasta) with artichoke cream and mint.

Niko got his own place at the table.

THE SPARTAN WOMAN AND I have this compulsion to show off “the real Umbria” to our guests. That usually means one of the sagras around the region. They’re usually held in the summer, when warm weather means long sultry nights, local food specialties, and kitschy line dancing to live music. Liv and Al were too late for those. But they weren’t too late for Montone’s fall festival. Plus, going there gave us an excuse to check out a different part of our area—after a few months of living here, it’s easy to get stuck in a rut of shopping, home maintenance and occasional hanging out with friends.

So, Montone. It’s said to be one of the most beautiful towns in Italy by the kinds of groups that keep track of that stuff. I can vouch that it’s awfully pretty, though I gotta say that it’s got lots of competition. The festival was fun because it got us out of the house and, with its emphasis on local foods and the chattiness of the vendors, we got an education in local foods. Really, really local foods. The hyperlocal food culture means that local towns have wineries, honey producers, and other local producers just beyond the town walls. For us that day, the nasty November weather broke and we strolled around and talked to people about cheese, pasta, and medicinal herbs and tinctures (the maker of the latter grabbed us for a good long chat).

Montone looking good.

So much for all that. The Spartan Woman, Niko the pup, and I have returned to everyday life, evading the wild boar hunters, looking at the view, and trying to decide every day what to have for lunch. And one of these days we’ll hang more pictures on the walls and make this place look more lived in—in a good way.

A modern way to get around an old town (and walk like an Egyptian)

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Every now and then I think about innovation. It’s not an obsession, but as a recovering geek I look at my Mac and the various ways we do everyday tasks and remember how these devices and even cars were 20, 30, even more years ago. A life without streaming, iPhones, and ATMs might sound like paradise to some people, but not to me.

One of my problems with the concept of “innovation” is that Americans tend to think of computers as the only area where it takes place. And, maybe, biotech. I’m oversimplifying, but you get the drift. And a lot of them devalue how other societies come up with solutions to everyday challenges. One of the ways the rest of the world is innovating is how people move around. Not just the big voyages, like airports and railroads, but in their towns and cities.

We live in a mountainous area, and a lot, if not most, of our cities and towns are on hills. And that posits a couple of problems that lead to interesting solutions. Hilltowns tend to have narrow streets—some are just alleyways and staircases. And they are not car-friendly. They’ve tried to adapt, but for example our regional capital, Perugia, after letting cars go everywhere, severely curtailed their use in the historic center. And that’s led to problems with commerce and convenience, but it also means that you can walk past nicely scrubbed buildings without be afraid of being run over. It’s a paradox and hopefully planners and urban officials will come to a good balance.

All of this brings me to Spoleto, where we spent a recent Saturday wandering with one of our kids and her boyfriend. Outwardly, it’s a typical Umbrian hilltown or small city. It once was a powerful local force, and traces of that power still exist here and there, like in the splendid duomo (main cathedral) and fortress overlooking the city. You can usually tell how powerful a town was during the pre-Papal States era by the size of its piazzas, and Spoleto doesn’t disappoint. Its piazza del Duomo is majestic and Piazza del Market (Market Square) is a nice big comfortable urban living room.

Now this is station art.

These days, Spoleto exercises its power via culture. It’s the site of the Festival dei Due Mondi, more commonly called the Spoleto Festival. Classical music musicians, dancers, and their fans from the around the world gather every summer at venues throughout the city. Because of this preeminence, artists have decorated the city’s public spaces; for example, an Alexander Calder sculpture stands watch over the train station.

ONE THING YOU CAN’T SEE in Spoleto lies literally below the surface. Spoleto’s government has over the years built a system of tunnels that get you around the historic center and out to parking lots outside the old city walls. It’s pretty amazing. At first I thought the tunnel we used between the parking lot where we stashed our car and the edge of the center city was the only one, and pretty impressive by itself. But a few months ago we walked past what looked like an entrance to another one. With my obsession with urban transport and tunnels I just had to explore. It resembles a subway or metro without trains, but with kilometers of moving sidewalks that actually work (take that, JFK airport). The tunnel leading from the SpoletoSfera lot is decorated with large photos of festival participants and guests, so you know exactly what this former city-state stands for these days. (We can argue over whether festivals are a cure-all for urban woes another time.)

Some views of the tunnels. Click photo to enlarge.

For some reason, every time we go there—and we’ll just go to hang out, feel the vibe and check out the restaurants—something serendipitously terrific happens. This past weekend, we stumbled into a street food happening and we bought enough good stuff to have dinner that night. (BTW street food is all the rage here in Italy, perhaps a reaction to the old days of formal dining in the country’s eateries.)

But a winter Sunday a few years ago topped every trip there. We drove there with two friends from New York, Wendy and Vicky. We walked around the town and when we got to the Duomo, we saw that some kind of mass baptism ceremony was in progress. Outside the church were plaques with the names of the kids. We thought, ok, cool, but there was more. We took the nearby elevator up to the old fort, which has an incredible view over the town and surrounding countryside. All of a sudden, dozens of helium balloons took off from the piazza in front of the cathedral, a riot of pink and blue, one for each baby.

That wasn’t all. We had a really good Sunday lunch at one of our favorite places, Apollinare (right). As we left and turned up the street, we stumbled in the crowd watching an exuberant Carnevale parade. Every participant wore a whimsical costumes, and a lot of them cheerfuly sprayed us all with confetti, sparkles, and silly string. DJs kept the beat going as people dressed as ancient Egyptians shimmied their way down the street.

And one of paraders, in the photo below, posed gracefully as I took my shot.

Old friends

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I’m psyched. I’ll soon get to hear Hackney Diamonds, the new album that most reviews say is the best Rolling Stones album in 40 years. I don’t usually listen to the music of my youth, but the Stones have a special place in my heart—I learned how to play electric guitar by listening to, and deconstructing, Keith Richards’ riffs on Exile on Main Street. Really, who could be a better teacher?

Thinking about these…I won’t call them father figures, but older brother and cousin figures has made me reflect on my long term friendships and leaving the country where most of my long term friends live. And also how we stay in touch. Back when, before email, Messages, and texts, we would have written letters, punctuated by the occasional expensive phone call. Now I zap a text across the world, and try to remember that they’re six to nine hours behind the time here. And every so often I bother them with a FaceTime session, where I get to walk around with my phone and show them what we’re up to. And then there’s the “so-shall,” as my Italian friends here call social media.

There is a difference between my Italian and American friends and family, especially beyond certain age (the young on both continents are adept at using phone apps to stay in touch). Americans of a certain age tend to be better at using their computers and phones to communicate, while with older Italians until recently were out of sight, out of mind. But I’ll keep this post to the people I’ve left behind.

One of the more interesting things is that the friends I’ve stayed in touch with the most are people I shared a crowded newsroom with back in the ’80s and ’90s. As one of them said replying to a FaceBook post, “You work with people for years and then you get old and suddenly realize that they are part of your group of lifelong friends.” The author is Victoria Slind-Flor (right), who was our San Francisco bureau chief. Ok, our bureau, period, in that city. She and I used to spend hours on the phone talking about just about everything. The last time I saw her I bumped into her serendipitously at the Ferry Building in San Francisco when I played hooky from a conference there. We sat on a bench overlooking the bay chatting and drinking coffee.

I was talking about writing this post with The Spartan Woman, and she noted that we see more old friends here than we did back in New York. Hmm…does being in Umbria have anything to do with it? Maybe it’s because our friends are habitual travelers, being or having been journalists and teachers. And once you’re in this country, you’re never really far from anywhere else because Italy is blessed with tons of rail and air connections.

Besides, we like to show off this part of Italy. It’s a nice break from tourist Italy, being mostly rural, hilly, and with fewer than 900,000 people in the entire region. It definitely was a good break for my ex-comrade Fred and his wife Mary. They’d buzzed around Puglia, attending a days-long party there, and then spent time exploring Sicily. But nothing prepared them for this place, which is sort of like Vermont but Italian. We look out at a river valley, some hills and mountains dotted with farmhouses and castles, and a big lake down the hill from us. As we drove around and walked up to a mountaintop, I kept hearing Fred say “wow.” That alone is almost worth the bureaucratic hassle it can be to live here.

Fred studies the menu while his wife Mary contemplates the view.

Someone we see more regularly is Doug, or Monsieur Chasse as we used to call him, translating his last name instead of, impossibly, his first. Poor Doug was smitten by the place some years ago when he took a month-long language course. And after years of planning and driving real estate agents crazy (he’s choosy) he found his bit of paradise. It’s a house perched on a hill overlooking the Valle Umbra, with incredible sunsets as part of the deal. The house needed TLC, and after seven months of to-the-walls renovation, it’s quite the place to hang out in.

We celebrated Doug’s spendid digs with some bubbly.

Who else? Two other former coworkers from that same place, Kris and Joanie. Both have visited and/or stayed with us. Do you sense a theme here? Our newsroom was an often crazy place, with an eccentric but brilliant cast of characters, and I can name a lot of people from there who have become lifelong friends. More than school, more than the old neighborhood, etc. There’s something about working on deadline with a bunch of like minded people—we used to joke that we could be a soap opera called “One Life to Give.”

/Rant: In fact, newsrooms up until the interweb days were pretty much like that in one way or another. It’s only when the Web forced wrenching change in how news is delivered that it changed. In came the consultants and data analysts and marketing experts who seem to have made a ton of money but have little to show for their efforts except turning those fertile beehives into what now resemble the dull precincts of insurance companies. I think the more eccentric personalities now somehow give off a signal that says “don’t hire me!” And we’re poorer for it.

As they were.

Now instead of stories and scoops, there are clicks and content delivery systems. In my last days as a productive member of society, I’d sit in meetings with our marketing person turned content chief, and my deputy and I would zap messages with all the meaningless bizspeak buzzwords that the nonjournalists spouted. After awhile it got boring and sad.

/Rant over. We’ve gotten two of the gang of four over. Now we’ll try to get all of us together at the same time. And we’ll have our boss, who we called Mother, along too. Perugia hosts this bitchin’ journalism festival every spring, which is always a good excuse for a lot of friends to come, not to mention to get a trip on the expense account or as a tax deduction. Next year in Umbria?

Image up top: National Archives at College Park, Public domain, via Wikimedia Commons

Oh, nothing really.

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Today was an exciting day. Truth. I got a haircut, and it’s always fun to go into town to see Francesco and his cool barber shop. It’s got an exotic name: Barber Shop. It’s great having this hipster joint in the middle of town—the decor’s a tasteful mix of old, with timbered ceilings, and postmodern chic. You make appointments using an app, and if you’re so disposed, can prepay using your phone. Today, feeling daring, I went a little shorter on top. And I let him put gel in it—barbers always get a little upset if you don’t let them.

But that wasn’t the exciting part. We were chatting away when suddenly I hear the twang of an American accent outside in the piazza. You don’t hear it that much around here. I looked out, without my glasses and saw out of focus figures wearing what looked like identical T-shirts and helmets. Francesco was intrigued, too.

—How do you know they’re American?

—The accent.

—There are different accents [I’m guessing he meant in English] ?

—Lots. [translated from the Italian]

He sent me out to interview some of them. The group was on a bike tour from an outfit called Backroads, and came from all over the U.S. One guy was practically my homeboy, coming from New Jersey, right across the Outerbridge. They were all on their way to Gubbio, about 30 km/18 miles away. Up and down big hills away, that is. “Wow, you guys must all be in pretty good shape,” I asked New Jersey. He responded, a little sheepishly, that some tour members had e-bikes to help.

The pause in piazza that refreshes

Okay, so this is not bigly exciting. But it’s all part of the everyday pleasures of life here, and it took me awhile to think like that. When we first arrived in May, I was restless. I felt that I was in this candy store and limited to Skittles. Or something like that. In other words, I was still in this-is-a-long-vacation mode and wanted to wander and even sightsee, and I wasn’t dealing realistically with the fact that we moved here. Like, to live.

And what do you do when you live somewhere? I’ll answer that: You do everyday stuff.

Since the last time we met over roasted tomato risotto, we’ve been in recovery mode, trying to get our lives back on track. August and part of September were like this giant hot blanket pulled over everything. This summer’s blazing heat kept us indoors for hours. Once it broke–somewhat—we had to think ahead. And hot though it was, we have to prepare for the winter.

Alternate fuel? Check.

Doing so is not a big deal if you live in a city—just start wearing sweaters and jackets. And turn on the heat. Here on the mountains, though, we have to lay in supplies and get stuff cleaned out to do that. We have gas heat, but the gas doesn’t come via a convenient pipeline; we have to get a delivery and fill a big underground tank, and take a big hit on our credit card balance. Because of the expense, we have a “termocamino,” or a thermal fireplace that’s hooked into the heating system. It pumps water through the fireplace and once the water reaches 50 degrees C/122 degrees F, we’ve got blaring heat circulating through the radiators. But we’ve also got choking smoke if we don’t call in the chimney cleaner. Hopefully someone will show up in a few days.

Speaking of our lives, 36 boxes of reminders of a former life came the other day. Luckily we have a whole downstairs floor to host them temporarily. And that’s a constant reminder that we’ve got to tell the authorities that we’re living here full-time and thus qualify for the national health service. Then there’s the dog registry and….and…and. Hey, this retirement thing is hard work.

BUT THERE ARE THE PLEASURES of everyday life here to compensate. We walk up the road and see this amazing view. We never get tired of it:

Valhalla, or the Umbrian equivalent

Besides the view, we’ve got neighbors. We can’t actually see them; we’re all spread along this winding road. But a simple 2 or 3 km walk means waving to cars passing by, and someone’s bound to stop and chat and invite us for coffee. A couple of weeks ago, we were doing our walk when a car pulls up. Usually it’s people lost and needing to find one of the nearby hamlets. A guy in accented Italian asks us if we’re the people in the yelllow house. We respond in English, we’ve been anxious to meet you. Seems we’ve got a famous lutenist living in a small house up the road, a fellow refugee from the U.S. If you’re into Renaissance music, look up this name: Crawford Young.

And have you ever had the experience of having a shop, a restaurant, a, I don’t know, a shrine nearby, and you tell yourself you’ve got to go there but you always forget or take it for granted that it’ll be there? Such was the case with the pretty recent addition to our town, Bottiglieria Barbarossa, a terrific enoteca right in the historic center. It opened about a year ago, and it’s a great place to try out local wines and artisanal gins and the like. And the owner Massimiliano is really passionate about his wares and the industry in general. We had a long chat about “natural” wines (he’s not a fan; I’m inclined to agree), the sacrifices restaurant owners make and our careers and life trajectories. The place has the additional benefit of big windows out onto the piazza so you can see the street action without the town’s resident old dudes staring back at you.

Just add wine=the perfect snack

There are other good bits of Italian small town life. We’re looking forward to a fish and seafood lunch this weekend. The menu looks incredible–appetizers, two “primi,” a fried seafood course, dessert, wine, water, and coffee. All of this in our friend’s hamlet for €35 a head, or about $37. It’s not just the food, of course. It’s the communal spirit of it all.

Our town, though, has got that communal thing licked. There are way too many events, walks, lectures, dinners, concerts going on to even start to list them. For a town of maybe 3500 souls, give or take, it’s a lot. And the town fathers and mothers are anxious to promote what we’ve got. Far be it from me to spoil the fun, so I’ll leave you with this video (in Italian), which gives you a good idea of what I’m saying:

https://youtube.com/watch?v=QS5LMuNJWyg%3Fsi%3DCeBNMYkkd8KF-zmI

Face the music

/ anthonypaonita / 2 Comments

Gotta say, this reverse immigration is a kick. As if I didn’t have enough to do—you’d be amazed at how complicated it can be to register a dog with Italian health authorities—I look at this thing we’re doing as if it were a multi-faceted model, turning it upside down and spinning it around to get a better look. Even my dreams get complicated, with people speaking different languages, and different shards of my life crashing into one another.

Most of the time I’m pretty comfortable being here. I almost lost sight of that over the summer’s hot spells, which kept us literally in the dark for hours during the middle of the day, after which we’d try to cool off with a swim, or go somewhere for a drink in the shade. It felt isolated and more than once I started to think I didn’t have to move thousands of miles/kilometers to live this life. But when it cooled down some, we started taking walks again and our neighbors would stop and chat. It felt good to be babbling in Italian, setting up coffee or dinner dates with the sweet people who live along this road.

I can only imagine how my father felt when he moved to New York back in 1955. He had the support of my mother’s family, but he didn’t have decades of rehearsing for the move, like I did. For my dad the move was a sudden plunge into the unknown, and that showed. He never quite understood how his new country worked, and why Americans didn’t take to the streets for economic reasons.

Little Tony at a swingin’ party

He clung to his culture. My sister and I would buy him Italian pop music albums for Father’s Day—one was a bunch of songs from Italy’s San Remo Festival, sort of a precursor to today’s Eurovision song contest. That album supplied my sister and me with a good sense of camp. Cynically teenagers brought up on The Beatles and Rolling Stones, we laughed at songs like this, by a character who called himself Little Tony. That bass line’s pretty catchy, though.

When my parents bought a decent stereo, my dad did what every respectable Italian in New York would do and bought some opera albums. Naturally, they were Italan operas: Cavalleria Rusticana, by Mascagni, about a Sicilian Easter Sunday that goes very badly, La Traviata by Verdi, a prostitute who dies alone without her client-lover; Aida,also by Verdi, two ancient Egyptians who meet a tragic end in a temple vault, and so on. (Hey, there seems to be a common thread here.)

The one exception to all of this was Dad’s unexpected love of the Supremes. When they came on The Ed Sullivan Show, he was under Diana Ross’s spell, uttering every so often, “She’s beauty.”

WHAT DOES THIS HAVE TO DO WITH me? Music. I’ve gone pretty native in most ways; it wasn’t that hard to do. I’m down on “Italian” food—hey it’s just food that people eat here. My accent’s gotten better; no one offers to switch to English or complement me on speaking the language, a sure sign that you’re not doing too well.

But the one time I feel almost totally American is when I listen to music. In particular, R&B and anything that’s got that on-the-1 thing going on. Think James Brown, Funkadelic, Prince. Sure, we listen to Italian pop music up on the hill here. But that’s in addition to our usual stuff. I started thinking about this the other day when I first heard the new song, Angry, by those old guys The Rolling Stones. They may be Brits, but they swing like Americans and have done so since they were kids. Take a listen:

It’s not that I dislike Italian stuff; still, it’s more “in addition to” rather than a substitute. American music is what I grew up with. Certain rhythms and chord progressions resonate with me. We grow up with the three-chord blues progression, and that Chuck Berry chunka chunka riff is almost embedded somewhere in our brain. Even younger artists who don’t know from blues progressions or the Beach Boys have the music as a cultural background. There’s a certain way Americans and their British followers sing and play and it’s definitely a part of anyone for whom music is a big part of his or her life.

Fandom enters into it, too. Even hipster fandom. The other day I was reading the coverage of the rerelease of the Talking Heads concert movie Stop Making Sense and noted the relieved tone that a lot of the articles were written in: Look! They’re talking to each other! Hey, I felt relieved, too. They were a big part of my youf.

We’re trying to catch up on cultural references and the like, but it is a learning curve. I also think there’s a difference in how Americans and Italians play their instruments. If you listen to the bands behind Italian singers like Eros Ramazzotti (shown here in a cool live performance with Tina Turner) or Laura Pausini, they’re terrific. Every note’s in place and their sense of drama and dynamics is spot on, But in some ways they’re almost too good. Americans, at least when machines aren’t taking over, have a wilder edge.

Of course, I’m talking in generalities. Italian rappers get it, and performers like Mamood definitely use rhythm more than melody to power their songs. And Matteo Paolillo has become a breakout rap/pop star because of the TV series Mare Fuori, and his moody, rap-singing in Neapolitan deserves to go international. And one older guy, Zucchero, might as well be a big star in the U.S.—he’s got a great band that’s really beat-friendly. (By the way, take a look at the show Mare Fuori, soon to appear on the U.S. streaming service Mhz Choice as The Sea Beyond.

But I’m talking about me and The Spartan Woman. We’re lucky in a way to be living here now. With streaming services at our voice command, we can listen to anything we want. And while we’re listening to more Italian stuff, sometimes you can’t beat Marvin Gaye, you know? We didn’t have to ship boxes of CDs over; in fact as of now we’d have nothing to play them with. We have smart speakers, and when the ‘net goes down as it does every so often,, we can stream cellular data from our phones to a couple of Bluetooth speakers.

The music thing may sound pretty minor, but I have a soundtrack going on much of the time. If I’m not listening to something, I’m playing or arranging songs in my mind. I wake up most days with a tune in mind and often, even before making coffee (Italian coffee culture may be one of the biggest reasons for being here), I’ll have to tell the speakers to play the song lest I go insane. I associate places with a certain kind of music. Montréal, for example, for moody French pop or that Franco-Mali music that you hear on the radio there; Palermo, Sicily, for a North African-Sicilian hybrid, and so on.

And what do I think of when I think of Perugia? Right now, it’s mainly one of the hits of the summer, bellississima by Alfa (see below). Radio here is pretty eclectic, our car’s screen describes most stations as “vari” or hit radio. Last year it was all about Dua Lipa. It’s harder to say what was big this year; probably a mixture of Paolillo and this song, which comes on the car radio pretty often.

I’m still working all this out. There’s a long history of people from English-speaking countries being expats in Latin-speaking ones. My experience and perspective is a little weird because I grew up somewhere over the Atlantic to begin with. Right now a big part of me just says enjoy and tell Siri to “play music that I like.” Maybe that’s the best approach.

I hear you had a nice time in Italy this summer. Next time come back to fill in the blanks

/ anthonypaonita / 5 Comments

Up here at Villa Sconita we receive occasional dispatches from the civilization we recently left. Occasional as in every time we look at our phones… But never mind. We see that a lot of you came to il Bel Paese this summer, with a fair number visiting our big attractions like RomeFlorenceVenice(RFV), and venturing to Rick Steves-approved sites like the Cinque Terre. And cousins of mine weren’t too far away at one point from our aerie here and then headed south to Sorrento. I’m fine with that, really. We have a dog.

We have access to webcams, and the hot spots looked very crowded. And from personal experience, we know that touring Italy in the summer is not a good thing for those averse to extremely hot weather. And climate change only ramped up the heat. My phone was pinging me almost every hour about extremely hot temperatures, courtesy of the Italian Meteorological Service, a unit of the national air force (really). And that was here, where we’re surrounded by trees, shrubs, and other flora, and we are not surrounded by other people. I think I worked up a sweat just gazing at the Trevi Fountain crowd on my laptop screen.

You probably ate, too. With any luck, you ate fairly well, although in those tourist traps, I mean popular destinations, the food can be hit or miss. My cousins who didn’t come this way seem to have done pretty well for themselves, judging from their posts on “il social,” as we say ’round these parts. But sorry, I have to say, they were in cities, big cities and/or popular cities. You can only get so far. And restaurant workers in the touristy places have acquired bad habits, like expecting a tip from Americans and other non Italians. We don’t tip out here in the provinces.

I’ll get more serious now. It’s a different world here, with an entirely different culinary culture. In the United States, most decent restaurants are in big cities, which attract the best and most ambitious cooks and restaurateurs. Go outside New York or Boston or Chicago and you’ve got chain restaurants like Olive Garden, with the occasional brave indie that was featured on Guy Fieri’s Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives. I exaggerate, but you get the point. In Italy, sure there are great city restaurants like the Osteria Francescana (I haven’t been, but I’ve seen the YouTube videos). But the really good and funky stuff is in people’s kitchens, and out in the sticks and smaller urban places.

For instance, earlier this summer a friend and I went up a mountain above the town of Gualdo Tadino, just because. We walked around a sanctuary and admired the view. That sure worked up an appetite, so he suggested we go to Villa Dama, a nearby agriturismo his daughter’s in-laws go to for celebratory occasions. I called for a table (they had plenty that day) and 20 minutes later we were walking the place’s beautiful grounds. Nice lunch, too, multi-course with wine, for €40 apiece. And that’s relatively posh for this area (photos below).

Traveling outside the big centers doesn’t limit your tastebuds, either. You might think you’ll have to eat “Italian food.” The towns near us (the biggest being the small university city of Perugia) feature Greek, Japanese, Chinese, and African food, and even an ersatz American barbecue chain. (But us mostly vegetarian types haven’t tried it.)

I’M LUCKY. I KNOW THAT. I have family here, and chosen family, too. Most of my meals before we move to Umbria took place in their kitchens and dining rooms. The day my grandmother turned 90 we had a banquet at a country restaurant that night. The party meal was of a zillion courses and I thought it was pretty good, but the critics at home (one uncle was a chef) had issues. I’ve watched my brilliant Perugian mamma create simple delicious meals in a half hour in her small kitchen. When I started peeling a ripe pear she motioned for me to wait a sec and broke off a piece of Parmigiano-Reggiano to go with it. Simple. Perfect. My Venetian aunt invited us over once and she and her daughters created an amazing 10-dish array of cicchetti—think Venetian tapas. And so on.

You don’t need a Venetian aunt, though. You do need to be a little adventurous. Get away from RFV. Get on a train or rent a car—it’s not scary driving out in the countryside, I promise. Find an agriturismo, a working farm that puts people up and feeds them. We’re surrounded by them here, and they aren’t hard to find. Go to the website With Locals and set up dinner or a cooking class with real live Italians. Even in restaurants, though, the feeling is different away from the aforementioned RFV. Service is casual and really friendly and the tab is a fraction of what it would be in RFV. You’ll find yourself chatting with the proprietor once they realize you’re from elsewhere. You might end up exchanging recipes, too.

Above, the out in the sticks experience. Clockwise, the first two photos are at Osteria del Cambio in Palazzo di Assisi. And we had the antipasto plate and the truffle lasagne at La Terrazza di San Guido, a laid-back restaurant in the hills above the town of Gualdo Tadino.

For the ultimate in getting down with the peeps, seek out local sagras and festivals. You can get a good start here. I’ve written about them before, but to sum up, it’s how a town might raise money for the school’s gym, but in reality it’s a celebration of people’s towns, local culture and produce. The other night we went to the shindig in our town; the week before we went up in the mountains to a town that grows fantastic potatoes. Of course, almost every dish featured the spuds. (Text continues below photo.)

Waiting in line for the spuds fest

Here’s the thing. Travel like this and you’ll get to know what the real treasure of this country is. Not the Coliseum, not the Vatican or Florence’s art treasures. You’ll likely get to hang out with the people, who despite bad governments, annoying bureaucracy, and anemic economic growth somehow manage to be kind, generous of spirit, and a pleasure to be around.

Call me a convert

/ anthonypaonita / 1 Comment

I was not about to go near The Spartan Woman. She was just a few meters away cursing at the food processor and Martha Stewart last week. It’s not that she had beef with Martha—quite the contrary. It’s just that she was trying to bake one of Martha’s recipes, a lime tart, and had to convert such quantities as “one stick of butter” or “half a cup of …” into the metric measurements we use in Europe. [TSW hastens to tell me that it’s not just the system of measurement but how recipes in the U.S. are written, often giving less accurate volumetric quantities rather than the weights professional chefs and Europeople use.]

 Photo: Cmh at the English-language Wikipedia

She wasn’t alone. Expat message boards are full of posts with people having trouble either converting measurements or finding ingredients that may be common in the United States—vanilla extract, for example—but hard to find in Italy. And measurements? Fuhgetaboutit.

As someone with a foot on both continents, I think about these differences a lot. And language, though it’s often a big barrier for newbies in a new country, isn’t the only one. I’m talking about measurements, more specifically, the metric system. The difference between the American version of Imperial measurements and the metric system might be harder to get over. Think about it: An American’s whole frame of reference to the world around us involves measurement of some kind. Two miles, 30 feet, 5,000 feet altitude, 45 degrees, 14 inches, a pint.

The United States is almost alone in the world in clinging to this obsolete and strange system. The other countries? Those progressive nations of Liberia and Myanmar. I call the system strange because, well, it is. Think about it: 5,280 feet equals a mile.Thirty-six inches, a yard; 12 inches, a foot. The only halfway sane one is the ton—at least 2,000 pounds is an easy number to remember.

Talk about American exceptionalism.

Seriously, though, one of the biggest barriers to improving life in the United States is the general refusal to learn much from the rest of the world in a conscious way. There’s almost always the assumption that Americans do it better, have it better, know more. And the U.S. way of measuring and perceiving the world is almost unique, and makes Americans nervous when they venture abroad. Or even over the borders to Mexico and Canada. I’m sorry, but Liberia isn’t exactly leading the way, and Myanmar is currectly ruled by a vicious and genocidal military dictatorship. Not great company to keep.

Inertia to change certainly plays a part. And so does math. When I was a kid in the 1960s, the U.S. made baby steps toward metrification. But instead of instilling in schoolchildren the system from scratch, teachers and texts taught equivalents. One pound equals 454 grams; to convert Celsius to Fahrenheit degrees, follow the formula temp Celsius X 1.8+32′ degrees=temp F. Lunacy, Why bother?

Ontario helps U.S. drivers with this sign as they cross the border. (It’s a little off: 100 kph is actually 62.5 mph.)

Maybe this sounds trivial, but think about it. You’re on your first trip abroad, to, say, Paris. You look at the TV weather channel in your hotel room, trying to figure out how to dress, and you see that it’s 12 degrees outside. What’s better? Plugging in the variables? Or knowing that 12 degrees is a chilly spring or autumn day? Sure, now you just look at your phone, but doing so isn’t teaching you anything, or making your more comfortable with how the rest of the world perceives temperatures.

BUT CLINGING TO THE OLD SYSTEM ISN’T just about inertia. Radical right wingers have made it one of their causes. Check out this video by that great intellectual Tucker Carlson. Back in 2019 he interviewed New Criterion editor James Panero about “the tyranny of the metric system.” I love how Panero calls U.S. measurements natural, metric ones abstract—and then dismisses the fact that we have 10 fingers and 10 toes, and how the metric system is based on….well, 10.

Despite this know-nothing astroturf nonsense, and popular fears, American industry knows better. Have you looked at a bottle of wine or soda recently? You’ll see 750 ml, 1 liter. Buy a car, or even a big American SUV lately? Your engine is 2.0 liters, 3.5 liters, etc. The dependably capitalist economic system has already made the change and I’ll bet Carson and Panero would call our leaders of industry woke socialists.

Getting with the program may be hard at first, but it’s not impossible. Canada switched from Imperial measurements to the metric system on April 1, 1975, and within a generation Canadian young people are fully immersed in metrics. A friend of mine from Toronto says she’s confused when she sees Fahrenheit degrees, and while she lived in the U.S. for a few years, she finds feet, yards, and miles to be impossibly strange.

So what do you do to get in synch with the rest of the world? I’m not saying that you should live in a metric bubble when everyone around you is in a real-life Flintstones episode. Just get acquainted with what everyone else uses, so that if you venture past the U.S. borders you won’t be lost. Start simply. Change the settings on your phone to metric measurements. You’ll get used to a kilometer and the Celsius scale. Or just remember that a kilometer is a little more than half a mile, give or take. And Celsius is easy, especially for landmarks of 0 degrees and above. Zero is freezing; 10 is a cool spring day; 20 is room temperature; 30 is a nice but not sweltering day at the beach. And 37 is body temperature—and a sweltering day at the beach.

Public domain via Wikicommons

The system of measurement isn’t the only thing keeping Americans in a bubble. In the rest of the world when it comes to politics, red means left wing, blue is conservative/right wing. But that’s another post. Be brave, America! You have nothing to lose but your disorientation. And you’ll know that when your phone tells you that it’s going to be 31 degrees this afternoon, it’s a great day to head out to that beach.